{"id":541,"date":"2025-07-19T14:59:24","date_gmt":"2025-07-19T14:59:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/?p=541"},"modified":"2025-08-11T23:12:03","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T23:12:03","slug":"nostalgijas-simptomi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/2025\/07\/19\/nostalgijas-simptomi\/","title":{"rendered":"Nosta\u013c\u0123ijas Simptomi"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Katra sevis cieno\u0161a, pliekani dumpinieciska pusaud\u017ea pien\u0101kums ir no\u0137\u0113z\u012bt savas gu\u013camistabas neso\u0161o sienu ar visvis\u0101diem m\u0113sliem. Plak\u0101ti ar savu laiku nokalpoju\u0161\u0101m rokzvaigzn\u0113m, izpl\u016bdu\u0161as fotogr\u0101fijas, \u0161\u0137\u012bbiem deguniem z\u012bm\u0113tas meitenes, pret\u012bgi salkani cit\u0101ti un jebkas cits, pie k\u0101 nu kurais tiek kl\u0101t un d\u0113v\u0113 par svar\u012bgu esam. Es biju viens no tiem pusaud\u017eiem. K\u0101 jenots v\u0101cu un glab\u0101ju katru kripatu, kurai pie\u0161\u0137irt sentiment\u0101lu v\u0113rt\u012bbu. Koka mizas gabali\u0146\u0161 no Me\u017eaparka, kur <a><\/a>Dziesmu Sv\u0113tku nosl\u0113gum\u0101 m\u0113s estr\u0101des vid\u016b sk\u016bpst\u012bj\u0101mies, g\u0101zmaska no pamest\u0101s ga\u013cas fabrikas, kur\u0101 lauz\u0101mies iek\u0161\u0101, zaru kronis, brie\u017ea galvaskauss un bi\u013cetes uz Dailes te\u0101tri. \u0160\u012b atmi\u0146u banka funkcion\u0113ja k\u0101 atg\u0101din\u0101jums pa\u0161am sev, ka dz\u012bve ir to v\u0113rta, lai ar\u012b cik bie\u017ei tas t\u0101 neliktos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Karstgalv\u012bgs puika b\u016bdams, p\u0113k\u0161\u0146\u0101 emociju uzpl\u016bd\u0101 nor\u0101vu visas atmi\u0146u paliekas no savas istabas sienas. T\u0101s tika no\u0161v\u012bk\u0101tas, sapl\u0113stas un samestas vien\u0101 kaudz\u0113, nodotas ugunij. Izt\u012br\u012bju skapi un atvad\u012bjos no grupu krekliem, no humpalu d\u0101rgumiem, no du\u010diem festiv\u0101lu spr\u0101d\u017eu un citiem karek\u013ciem. T\u0101 bija p\u0113d\u0113j\u0101 ned\u0113\u013ca pirms izv\u0101cos no vietas, kuru d\u0113v\u0113ju par sav\u0101m m\u0101j\u0101m tr\u012bspadsmit gadus. Teju vien\u012bgais, kas izdz\u012bvoja \u0161o asinsspirti, bija \u010dupi\u0146a ar gr\u0101mat\u0101m. T\u0101 pati jaunatnes piedz\u012bvojumu klasika, kura reiz vedin\u0101ja uz cilden\u0101m dom\u0101m par pasaules apce\u013co\u0161anu, ka uzdro\u0161in\u0101\u0161os l\u0113kt nezin\u0101maj\u0101 ar galvu pa priek\u0161u un b\u016b\u0161u t\u0101ds pats k\u0101 Hemingvejs vai Verns, ka ar saviem st\u0101stiem sp\u0113\u0161u aizpild\u012bt to neaizrokamo bedri sav\u0101 sird\u012b, ka st\u0101st\u012b\u0161u tik jaud\u012bgi, ka jums visiem nekas cits neatliks, k\u0101 vien klaus\u012bties ar saj\u016bsmu un vieglu skaud\u012bbu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pavisam s\u012bks knau\u0137is v\u0113l, kaut k\u0101d\u0101 ceturt\u0101s klases skolas st\u0101sti\u0146u konkurs\u0101 tiku atz\u012bts par pietiekami labu esam tre\u0161ajai vietai, un m\u016bsu maz\u0101 godalgoto trijotne non\u0101ca viet\u0113j\u0101 Zvaigzne ABC gr\u0101matn\u012bc\u0101, kur satik\u0101m jau pavisam sirmu, ta\u010du aizvien str\u0101vojo\u0161u Imantu Ziedoni, kur\u0161 m\u016bs, mazos literat\u016bras mil\u017eus, pagodin\u0101ja ar parakst\u012btu dzejo\u013cu kr\u0101jumu un t\u0113vi\u0161\u0137iem sveicieniem. Es vi\u0146am paspiedu roku un, gal\u012bgi satraucies, izsp\u013c\u0101vu, ka ar\u012b grib\u0113tu b\u016bt rakstnieks, glu\u017ei k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161! Varu likt galvu \u0137\u012bl\u0101, ka \u0161\u0101dus v\u0101rdus no naiviem knau\u0137iem dzird katrs, kura raksti guvu\u0161i jel k\u0101du atzin\u012bbu. Kad esi hronisks las\u012bt\u0101js un v\u0101rdi cauri lap\u0101m pl\u016bst tik br\u012bvi, tik nepiespiesti, ir viegli aizmirst, ar cik liel\u0101m mok\u0101m tie bie\u017ei vien ir n\u0101ku\u0161i, un Tu maldino\u0161i s\u0101c dom\u0101t, ka var\u0113si t\u0101pat. Kop\u0161 t\u0101 laika manas attiec\u012bbas ar liter\u0101ro pasauli ir nepast\u0101v\u012bgas. Te iem\u012blos vair\u0101k, te aizmirstu pavisam. Jelgava94 noteikti atst\u0101ja savus ble\u0137a traipus dv\u0113sel\u0113, t\u0101p\u0101t k\u0101 Holdens Kolf\u012blds un Lavkrafts. Ar lielu neregularit\u0101ti las\u012bju vispasaules klasiku, bie\u017ei vien pa\u0161am neizprotot, k\u0101p\u0113c. Kaut kad ap to laiku Satori uzd\u016bros Hir\u0161am, un nodom\u0101ju, ka beidzot ir k\u0101ds, kas uzraksta k\u0101 ir, bez t\u0101s pret\u012bgi pu\u0137ain\u0101s valodas, kas rakstur\u012bga Latvijas literat\u016bras kanonam. Kautr\u012bgi g\u0101ju un st\u016br\u012bt\u012b klaus\u012bjos t\u0101s p\u0101ris reizes, kad vi\u0146\u0161 ko publiski las\u012bja, un vienm\u0113r centos apspiest to pa\u0161u b\u0113rni\u0161\u0137\u012bgo vajadz\u012bbu pien\u0101kt kl\u0101t, un pateikt, ka ar\u012b gribu b\u016bt rakstnieks, glu\u017ei k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161! Atskatoties, man, protams, ir kauns. Nevienam ta\u010du tas nav j\u0101saka. Gribi rakst\u012bt, raksti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Katr\u0101 zi\u0146\u0101, fotogr\u0101fija un literat\u016bra bija t\u0101s divas lietas, par kur\u0101m biju visai p\u0101rliecin\u0101ts, t\u0101p\u0113c nol\u0113mu stud\u0113t \u017eurn\u0101listiku. Sav\u0101 galv\u0101 biju izp\u012bp\u0113jis, ka var\u0113tu t\u0113m\u0113t k\u013c\u016bt par foto\u017eurn\u0101listu, un, ar zin\u0101mu daudzumu veiksmes, tad ar\u012b sp\u0113tu piepild\u012bt savas alkas klejot pa pasauli, par to rakst\u012bt, to iem\u016b\u017ein\u0101t un padal\u012bties ar visiem tiem vienk\u0101r\u0161ajiem mirst\u012bgajiem, kuri dz\u012bvo m\u0101j\u0101s. Tiku pie\u0146emts, pietam bud\u017eet\u0101, nekas vair\u0101k no manis netika pras\u012bts, k\u0101 vien m\u0101c\u012bties. Protams, nepag\u0101ja ne gads, kad ar k\u0101du l\u012bdz\u012bgi dz\u012bv\u0113 v\u012blu\u0161os kursa biedreni iz\u0146\u0113m\u0101m dokumentus. Dievojos visiem, kuri bija gatavi klaus\u012bties, ka glu\u017ei vienk\u0101r\u0161i biju v\u012blies studiju programm\u0101, ka m\u016bsdienu \u017eurn\u0101lisms nekam neder, ta\u010du patiesie iemesli ir krietni neinteresant\u0101ki &#8211; ap\u0101tija, garlaic\u012bba, p\u0101rceptas smadzenes, sauc k\u0101 gribi. Es to saucu par datorb\u0113rnu kaiti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tagad t\u0101 rakstot, atj\u0113dzos, ka esmu jums pasp\u0113jis samelot. Savu atmi\u0146u sienu es izn\u012bcin\u0101ju krietni v\u0113l\u0101k. Tas bija jau p\u0113c \u0161\u012b komiski no\u017e\u0113lojam\u0101 akad\u0113misk\u0101 gada, p\u0113ctam, kad visu vasaru jau biju pasp\u0113jis notrallin\u0101t koj\u0101s izdz\u012bvojot rut\u012bnisku studentboh\u0113mu, tikai tad, kad septembr\u012b ierad\u0101s jaun\u0101s asinis, un mani laikabiedri turpin\u0101ja savus ce\u013cus, mani p\u0101r\u0146\u0113ma izmisums un atgriezos m\u0101j\u0101s. Iev\u0113los sav\u0101 vecaj\u0101 gu\u013camistab\u0101, salauzts, un skat\u012bjos uz atmi\u0146\u0101m. T\u0101s skat\u012bj\u0101s pret\u012b, platiem, \u0161\u0137ietami izsmejo\u0161iem smaidiem. Tad es v\u0113l nezin\u0101ju, ka vairumu j\u016bs vairs nesatik\u0161u. Tad es v\u0113l nezin\u0101ju, ka turpm\u0101kos \u010detrus gadus pavad\u012b\u0161u nodzeroties, ka j\u016bs tikm\u0113r turpin\u0101siet dz\u012bvot. Tad m\u0113s visi v\u0113l bij\u0101m vien\u0101di. Un es to nevar\u0113ju pie\u0146emt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tagad siena st\u0101v tuk\u0161a jau vair\u0101kus gadus. Vakara saule laiski sl\u012bd p\u0101ri tapet\u0113m, kur\u0101s atrodami du\u010diem kniepadatu durti caurumi. Esmu mier\u0101 ar sevi, un mier\u0101 ar savas sienas iztr\u016bkumu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Galu gal\u0101, nosta\u013c\u0123ija ir vissald\u0101k\u0101 inde. Dz\u012bvi nav iesp\u0113jams dz\u012bvot atpaka\u013cgait\u0101.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8221;Es vi\u0146am paspiedu roku. un, gal\u012bgi satraucies, izsp\u013c\u0101vu, ka ar\u012b grib\u0113tu b\u016bt rakstnieks, glu\u017ei k\u0101 vi\u0146\u0161!&#8221;<\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":680,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_surecart_dashboard_logo_width":"180px","_surecart_dashboard_show_logo":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_orders":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_invoices":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_subscriptions":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_downloads":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_billing":true,"_surecart_dashboard_navigation_account":true,"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[28,27],"class_list":["post-541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dailliteratura-lv","tag-dailliteratura","tag-lv"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=541"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1020,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/541\/revisions\/1020"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/680"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/virsis.art\/lv\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}